Thoughts are often in the way of a good night’s rest. Sometimes you keep thinking and worrying and thus keeping yourself active and awake. There is no button available to switch off your thoughts. Fortunately, there is a way to put an end to all that thinking, namely ‘letting go’. But how?
Letting go is hip and happening. Even the movie ‘Frozen’ (one of the most popular Disney movies of all times) is characterized by letting go. The famous title song says ‘let it go’ and refers to ‘a swirling storm inside’. Also, the songwriter refers to a new state after breaking through, the following freedom and the lack of ‘fears that once controlled me’. Indeed, fear is a formidable opponent of letting go. Fear makes it excessively difficult to let go or even makes it impossible. If someone is afraid of change, that fear will keep him in its grip end the specific situation will remain unchanged. This will inevitably lead to cases in which fear is being confirmed and therefore reinforced.
Sometimes our daughter calls me and says she can’t sleep. I totally understand that, but try to explain and learn her that negative thoughts do not solve. If I say to myself that I can’t sleep, I won’t. And the longer it takes to fall asleep, the more I get convinced of the coming failure. But thoughts can also work the other way around. I can sleep! A positive mindset will not be a miracle immediately, but it sure is worth trying and there’s a big chance that it will pay off on the long term.
There’s no pill or ointment for letting go, it’s a process that every person may experience himself. Previously, I was only able to let go during summer holiday. You might say that indeed is an ideal opportunity, but each time I turned out to be sick the first couple of days. Every year that seemed inevitable. And if the process of letting go finally started to develop, the holiday was already on its end.
Letting go is also very important when helping others. If you can’t help in a certain situation, you are forced to let go, otherwise it gets painful for yourself (check my blog about helping). And sometimes you just so much would like to give, as much as you could, out of love. But a famous song text already says: ‘And some say love is holding on and some say letting go’.
Resistance is useless
Situations are as they are. Accept that. Or make a change if you’re able to. But if you can’t influence something, just let it be. If you have trouble ‘doing’ that, you can start to practice to let things be in simple and small situations – conscious and aware: it’s rainy, exactly the moment you planned an activity outside, the article you wanted to buy is not available, you can’t sleep with an important meeting the next day that requires a relaxed and fresh mind, you are late for an appointment although you left well ahead of time. Try to let it go, try to accept it, try to let it be as it is. Put it into perspective and be flexible. Famous writers like Eckhart Tolle talk about ‘accepting of what is’ and ‘accepting now’. Don’t fight what is, don’t fight now – it is there anyway…
All of us are so badly looking for happiness in our lives, that we preferably would like to avoid any setback or misfortune. We’d like to live a fairytale life that comes after ‘and they lived happily ever after’. On the other hand, we must be honest and look at where we would stand if we didn’t have to suffer losses. If everything in our lives was perfect, we would act like a spoiled child. We would not be able to deal with negative events. And well, what is negative? Maybe we learn even more during a tough or intense period. Maybe because of that we even become a more beautiful and balanced human being.
Letting go is fun!
For many people a good step on the way of letting go is to relax and to participate in activities that they really like. Letting go is an automatic process if you are relaxed as well as if you are very active (i.e. in a pleasant activity and as a result gaining energy). Some people are able to let go very well by walking in nature as others are by sporting. The core issue is that you can give yourself totally, without any conditions, without having to activate desire. Just be happy and have fun as a child would do. Give space to your inner child. A child is naturally full of energy and has a positive mindset towards the world that is laid out for him. A child bubbles with energy and flutters around like a butterfly to find himself falling asleep comfortably in the end of the day – tired but satisfied. I can sleep…